{life.thoughts} Not that I am lost or ...

Originally written on Feb. 19, 2005 on my other blog-like.

I have had these dreams a couple of weeks after entering my new life in Canada. Blasts from the past. The place where it happens is usually not familiar. I can only distinguish if it is somewhere in Iran or somewhere in Canada. People are my friends and family and some others that I have no idea how they enter my dream. Needless to say, the theme is something around being homesick.

Such strange dreams come to me in two occasions: when I have freed my mind from the daily struggles, and when I am desperately under some stress.

When I think it over, probably the number of dreams that includes returning home without telling anybody has the largest hits. Often I experience a situation where everybody is busy and don't have time to see spend time with me. Like the dream that I had the other night. I was back home, just to find out that my family was on vacation in our Sanandaj apartment. And then, I go there and I don't find them (or before getting there I woke up).

Today, I was working in the lab from early morning. In fact, I have been working a lot since Monday. After a long day, I was incoherent to work on the manuscript and decided to take a short break. Well, short was it not. It was a 4 hour "nap" leaning on the office chairs. I should get a minor degree in making office facilities comfortable for a long sleep! When I woke up, I remembered a foggy outdoor event. Ali Abdi was there. Shervin was there. Vahid was there. And many others that I don't remember right now. I don't even remember what we were up to. Probably, some picnic or something. And again, I am bombarded with thoughts. Am I meant to be here?